Is This a Test?
by greenplaid88
Summary: Jean and Scott try to learn more about the New Recruits in this feel-good, team-builidng/family, and mildly funny fic.
1. Prologue

So this one takes place after that one episode where Jean and Scott attempt to teach the New Recruits... I forgot the name of the episode, though. Sorry. ;)

Also, this is primarily a FAMILY fic. Yes, I do realize that the X-Men are not related, but it probably would have been under a "Feel Good" or "Team Bonding" section if they had those. Anyways, it's a feel-good kinda fic, and if you're looking for pure humor, I recommend my story, "Cookin' with the Blob." LOL. ;)

And a side note: This story contains mild Oprah and Cyclops bashing. So if you like Oprah and/or Cyclops, this fic might not be for you. It's a fair warning. Oh yeah, and there is a joke about Southerners and snoring. So if you're going to be offended by any one of these things, please don't take it out on me in reviews. Flames not involving any of the above items are welcome, but I like nice comments better. ;)

And yes, I realize that some sentences are run-ons. Oh well. ;)

More chapters to come... They're already written, I just have to type 'em up. But you can have the first two for now. ;)

Inspiration for portions of this story go to Midwich Cuckoo for their story "Omega Bobby"

Disclaimers:

I don't own...

X-Men: Evolution

Oprah

Oprah's website

Invader Zim

Chips Ahoy

Man vs. Wild

Survivorman

Spaghetti-O's

Slurpee

Prologue

"Since everybody here already knows how well our last attempt at a lesson went, today we are going to try something a little different." Jean stood at the front of the make-shift, underground classroom next to Scott. "Today you will each tells us a little bit about yourselves using these worksheets."

Jamie cautiously raised his hand. "Is this a test?"

Bobby, who had previously been occupying his class time by staring at Jubilee, sat upright in his chair with a jolt. "Test? Nobody told me we had a test today!" He looked around the room frantically. "Dude, I didn't study!" Bobby punched Sam, who was sitting next to him, to wake the only Southerner he knew that didn't snore from his short-lived slumber. "Dude!" Bobby shouted at Sam. "Did you know that we have a test today?"

"What? A test?" Sam asked, panicking more about the likely fact that Rahne and Amara had seen him drool while he slept than the information he had just received from Bobby. "I didn't study!"

"Me either!"

"Bobby, Sam, calm down!" Scott shouted. He pinched the bridge of his nose as best as he could with his glasses on. Sighing in frustration, he turned toward Jamie. "No, Jamie. To answer your question, this is not a test."

Bobby and Sam sighed audibly, sinking in their chairs with relief. "Does this count as a grade of any type?" Bobby inquired.

Scott sighed dramatically. "No, Bobby. This does not count as a grade of any type." Bobby and Sam sunk lower into their chairs. Seeing that the class in front of him was now silent, Scott straightened and announced proudly, "These questions came directly from Oprah's website, so I'm positive that they'll be great for getting to know each other and having a good foundation for our relationship as friends and as future teammates."

The class was silent for a few seconds, staring at Scott. Then, all at once, the New Recruits burst out laughing. "HA!" Bobby shouted. "Scott watches Oprah!"

"What?" Scott asked, looking around the room of laughing mutants. "No, I said I got it from Oprah's website!" he said, trying to defend himself and failing miserably. Getting angry, he shouted, "Just take your worksheets!"

Slowly, the class settled down and stopped wiping tears of laughter from their eyes. Jean and Scott then proceeded to pass out the Oprah-approved worksheets to the New Recruits.

Reluctantly and unusually silent, the New Recruits set to work on their worksheets. Thirty minutes later, the clock's hand reached the three, and the New Recruits turned in their papers, leaving Jean and Scott to their metallic classroom.

Sighing, Jean and Scott silently started to skim over the mess of papers the New Recruits had left them.


	2. Jamie

Yay for chapter 2! And BTW, I really did get these questions from Oprah's website... So yeah. Enjoy Jamie's chapter. And don't forget to review!

Name: Multiple

1) Who was your favorite celebrity as a child?

GIR from Invader Zim

2) What type of pets do you have?

Professor almost let me keep a mouse that I caught...

3) What is your favorite color?

Pink, but don't judge me!

4) What is most memorable about your high school years?

I haven't gone to high school yet!

5) Which word describes you best?

Awesome!

6) What is your greatest accomplishment?

Trapping Sam, Bobby, Ray, and Jubilee in the Danger Room

7) What drives you every day?

Well, Storm usually drives me to school... Does that count?

8) What is your favorite food?

Chips Ahoy chocolate chip cookies, but only the soft ones

9) Where do you want to retire?

I haven't even gone to high school yet! What makes you think I've thought about retirement?

10) What is your business goal this year?

What's a business goal?

11) Where do you like to vacation?

I've never been on a real vacation, but I've heard that New York City is cool.

12) Who do you admire?

Rogue

13) What is your mission?

I've never been on one!

14) If you were invisible, where would you go?

to the Professor's office

15) What traits in others are you attracted to?

Uh... Well, I like people who are nice to me.

16) What is the kindest thing anyone has done for you?

Rogue helped me find my teddy bear

17) How do you want to be remembered?

as the little guy who came from behind

18) What would you do with a million dollars?

I'd keep some of it, give some to the school, and give the rest to foster homes and charities.

19) If you were on an island, who would you want to be with? Why?

That depends... If I were vacationing on an island, I'd want Rogue to come with me. If I were stranded on an island, I want the Professor.

20) You have a 10 minute speech to give at a high school, what is it about?

I have to give a speech? Does that count as a test?

And yes, I am using the teddy bear idea for a new story, so don't steal it, kay? Thanks! :)


	3. Sam

So this chapter gets a little more family-related... I know the last one was funny, but that's really the only humor chapter I've got in here... The rest of this is pretty much family. Just an FYI...

Name: Cannonball

1) Who was your favorite celebrity as a child?

Elvis Presely

2) What type of pets do you have?

Dogs, cats, chickens, cows, and horses

3) What is your favorite color?

green

4) What is most memorable about your high school years?

all of the great people I've met

5) Which word describes you best?

country, if that could be an adjective

6) What is your greatest accomplishment?

saving two people from a mining accident

7) What drives you every day?

knowing that someday I'll have a good job and enough money to support my family

8) What is your favorite food?

cheeseburgers

9) Where do you want to retire?

Cumberland, Kentucky

10) What is your business goal this year?

getting straight A's

11) Where do you like to vacation?

Nashville

12) Who do you admire?

my ma Lucinda

13) What is your mission?

to support my family

14) If you were invisible, where would you go?

the med lab

15) What traits in others are you attracted to?

someone who's nice to most anyone, no matter who they are

16) What is the kindest thing anyone has done for you?

Professor Xavier, lettin' me come here on a scholarship

17) How do you want to be remembered?

hard-working

18) What would you do with a million dollars?

give some to the Institute, some to charity, and the rest to my family

19) If you were on an island, who would you want to be with? Why?

Professor, 'cause he'd know what to do

20) You have a 10 minute speech to give at a high school, what is it about?

peaceful human-mutant relationships

Yeah so like I said, that was much more family than humor... Anyways, if anyone wants to use this idea and create a humor fic out of it, go ahead! Lemme know via review and I will totally fave that story (if it's funny, of course) I'm not that great at humor fics, but if you just use different questions you can totally create a humor fic! :D I'd love to read it! 


	4. Bobby

So I gotta give HUGE credit to Midwich Cuckoo for "Omega Bobby"... It was my complete inspiration for this chapter... :)

Name: Popsicle

1) Who was your favorite celebrity as a child?

Definately Stan Lee. Gotta love that guy.

2) What type of pets do you have?

We've got a purebreed cyclops, a wolverine, an elf, and a rare blue-furred bigfoot.

3) What is your favorite color?

blue

4) What is most memorable about your high school years?

goofing off with Sam and Jubilee

5) Which word describes you best?

cool... heh heh.

6) What is your greatest accomplishment?

learning to freeze myself

7) What drives you every day?

knowing that someday I'm going to become the most awesome cyromaniac ever... the Ultimate Iceman!

8) What is your favorite food?

ball park Franks

9) Where do you want to retire?

somewhere far away from any and all Summers DNA

10) What is your business goal this year?

pranking Mr. Logan

11) Where do you like to vacation?

anywhere with average temperatures below 70 F

12) Who do you admire?

Mr. McCoy... He's really smart and atletic PLUS he's covered in blue fur!

13) What is your mission?

becoming Ultimate Iceman and having a ton of fun along the way

14) If you were invisible, where would you go?

all of the teachers' rooms... interperet that any way you want to

15) What traits in others are you attracted to?

I personally like Chinese-Americans with yellow coats...

16) What is the kindest thing anyone has done for you?

when Ray and Jamie offered to come with me to go talk to Mr. Logan 'cause I didn't wanna go alone

17) How do you want to be remembered?

as the Ultimate Iceman

18) What would you do with a million dollars?

spend it on prank stuff

19) If you were on an island, who would you want to be with? Why?

Bear Grylls. NOT Les Stroud! Why? 'Cause he's the REAL Suvivorman!

20) You have a 10 minute speech to give at a high school, what is it about?

why pranksters and comic reliefs are more important to society than anyone realizes 


	5. Rahne

I don't have a very extensive knowledge of Scotland or it's culture, so go easy on me if I made poor Rahne look bad! ;)

Name: Rahne S.

1) Who was your favorite celebrity as a child?

Ewan McGregor

2) What type of pets do you have?

I was never allowed to have pets at home.

3) What is your favorite color?

green

4) What is most memorable about your high school years?

Exploring Bayville with my new friends

5) Which word describes you best?

underestimated

6) What is your greatest accomplishment?

learning a new language

7) What drives you every day?

believing that I can make a differance, no matter who I am

8) What is your favorite food?

oatcakes

9) Where do you want to retire?

Ullapool, Scotland

10) What is your business goal this year?

getting an A in English

11) Where do you like to vacation?

New York City

12) Who do you admire?

my adoptive mother, Moira

13) What is your mission?

to create peace between humans and mutants

14) If you were invisible, where would you go?

to see Professor Xavier

15) What traits in others are you attracted to?

I like people who are kind to others, humble, and strong-willed.

16) What is the kindest thing anyone has done for you?

when Moira adopted me

17) How do you want to be remembered?

brave and good-hearted

18) What would you do with a million dollars?

donate it to different charities

19) If you were on an island, who would you want to be with? Why?

Professor Xavier, because he would know how to get us home.

20) You have a 10 minute speech to give at a high school, what is it about?

peace between humans and mutants 


	6. Ray

Sorry, everybody... I don't know much about Ray... I did the best I could.

Name: Sparky

1) Who was your favorite celebrity as a child?

John Lennon. Don't judge.

2) What type of pets do you have?

Never had any.

3) What is your favorite color?

orange

4) What is most memorable about your high school years?

playin' loud music with my pals

5) Which word describes you best?

electric. heh.

6) What is your greatest accomplishment?

gaining control over my powers

7) What drives you every day?

the hope of a better future

8) What is your favorite food?

pizza

9) Where do you want to retire?

I haven't thought about retirement yet... I just wanna survive high school.

10) What is your business goal this year?

getting a B+ in math

11) Where do you like to vacation?

never been

12) Who do you admire?

Mr. Logan

13) What is your mission?

Uh... To live, I guess, if that makes any sense... What kind of questions are these, anyways?

14) If you were invisible, where would you go?

around the world on top-secret CIA missons

15) What traits in others are you attracted to?

lotsa energy. open mind.

16) What is the kindest thing anyone has done for you?

the Morlocks took me in when I didn't have anywhere else to go

17) How do you want to be remembered?

as a hero

18) What would you do with a million dollars?

some to charity, some to the Institute, some to the Morlocks, and keep some

19) If you were on an island, who would you want to be with? Why?

Les Stroud, 'cause he knows how to survive. For real. Don't ask Bobby, though. He'll just say Bear Gryllis.

20) You have a 10 minute speech to give at a high school, what is it about?

letting mutants and humans go to public high school without discrimination

And btw, I am using the whole Man vs. Wild vs. Survivorman thing with Bobby and Ray, so don't steal please. :) 


	7. Roberto

Sorry, people. I don't know much about soccer.

Name: Sunspot

1) Who was your favorite celebrity as a child?

Christiano Ronaldo

2) What type of pets do you have?

One time, I had a goldfish named Joey.

3) What is your favorite color?

red

4) What is most memorable about your high school years?

playin' soccer

5) Which word describes you best?

focused

6) What is your greatest accomplishment?

making the varsity soccer team

7) What drives you every day?

the need to be better than I was yeterday

8) What is your favorite food?

burgers

9) Where do you want to retire?

haven't thought about it yet...

10) What is your business goal this year?

guess I'd like an A in science

11) Where do you like to vacation?

Galapagos Islands

12) Who do you admire?

Professor X

13) What is your mission?

to be the best Berto I can be

14) If you were invisible, where would you go?

med lab

15) What traits in others are you attracted to?

sticking to your guns, no matter what

16) What is the kindest thing anyone has done for you?

Jean offered to help me train for soccer try-outs

17) How do you want to be remembered?

brave

18) What would you do with a million dollars?

charities

19) If you were on an island, who would you want to be with? Why?

Storm, 'cause she'd make it rain and give us water

20) You have a 10 minute speech to give at a high school, what is it about?

why mutants should still be allowed on sports teams and in public high school 


	8. Jubilee

Oops! Sorry... I forgot the Cheerio disclaimer in chapter one... Well, I don't own Frosted Cheerios. So there you have it.

Name: Jubilee

1) Who was your favorite celebrity as a child?

Paula Abdul

2) What type of pets do you have?

I had a hamster, once. He died.

3) What is your favorite color?

yellow

4) What is most memorable about your high school years?

pranking with Bobby

5) Which word describes you best?

Uh... Complex? Explosive (haha)? Unique? I don't know!

6) What is your greatest accomplishment?

Chugging a 32 oz. blueberry Slurpee in 2 minutes flat without getting brain freeze. It's gotta be a record.

7) What drives you every day?

the need to help others, no matter who they are

8) What is your favorite food?

Frosted Cheerios

9) Where do you want to retire?

right here in Bayville

10) What is your business goal this year?

to get Sam and Rahne together

11) Where do you like to vacation?

NYC, of course!

12) Who do you admire?

Mr. Logan

13) What is your mission?

to never judge a book by its cover

14) If you were invisible, where would you go?

to the teacher's rooms to get inside info on 'em

15) What traits in others are you attracted to?

cockiness

16) What is the kindest thing anyone has done for you?

I'm gonna have to think about that one for a loooong while...

17) How do you want to be remembered?

someone who people knew they could trust

18) What would you do with a million dollars?

I'd keep some, give some to local orphanages, and give the rest to Professor X for the school.

19) If you were on an island, who would you want to be with? Why?

Mr. L, 'cause he'd totally keep us safe

20) You have a 10 minute speech to give at a high school, what is it about?

peace between human and mutant kind 


	9. Amara

Sorry for the wait... Wolverine's Motherly Instincts chp.2 will hopefully be up by the end of the week... But I've been really busy lately... So no promises. ;)

Name: Amara A.

1) Who was your favorite celebrity as a child?

Christina Aguleria

2) What type of pets do you have?

I don't have any pets.

3) What is your favorite color?

Purple

4) What is most memorable about your high school years?

Shopping with my new besties in the city!

5) Which word describes you best?

Determined

6) What is your greatest accomplishment?

Making new friends at a new school in a new country

7) What drives you every day?

Knowing that I can be so much more than just a princess and believing that I can accomplish anything I set my mind to.

8) What is your favorite food?

Spagehtti-O's

9) Where do you want to retire?

Back home in Brazil

10) What is your business goal this year?

Making the volleyball team

11) Where do you like to vacation?

Hawaii

12) Who do you admire?

Storm

13) What is your mission?

To always follow my dreams, no matter what anyone says, and to encourage others to do the same

14) If you were invisible, where would you go?

the Medical Lab

15) What traits in others are you attracted to?

I like dark hair, positive attitudes, and a good personality.

16) What is the kindest thing anyone has done for you?

Tabby and Bobby helped me get off our cruise ship to dry land

17) How do you want to be remembered?

Fun and Determined

18) What would you do with a million dollars?

I'd give most of it to the Institute, and then give the rest to charities.

19) If you were on an island, who would you want to be with? Why?

Storm, because she would know what to do and how to keep us safe.

20) You have a 10 minute speech to give at a high school, what is it about?

Following your dreams!


	10. That Really Cheesey Family Epilogue

So this is the realllly cheesy family part... Plus Jean babbles A LOT... Brace yourselves! ;)

PS I forgot the Kodak disclaimer in the first chapter, but I don't own Kodak. So there ya go.

Jean smiled as she stood at the front of the makeshift classroom for the third time. "Scott and I have gone over your worksheets, and I'm pleased to say that we've actually learned a lot about each and every one of you."

She smiled at Scott, who proudly announced that it was because the questions were from Oprah's website. This earned a few chuckles from the class and a fit of laughter from Bobby, who managed to shout in between bouts of giggles, "Scott watches Oprah!" which in turn created fits of laughter from the rest of the class.

Once everyone had stopped laughing and Scott's cheeks no longer matched the color of his glasses, Jean continued. "Anyways, I know that I personally have learned more from these worksheets than any physics lesson could ever teach. I've learned that you should never count Jamie out just because he's young. I've learned that Sam really cares about his family, and that he'd do just about anything for them. I've learned that even though Bobby can be a real clown sometimes, he's got big dreams, dreams that he's willing to work hard for. I've learned that even though Rahne really misses her home and family in Scotland, she wouldn't ever trade away the home and family she has here for anything. I've learned that Ray has been through a lot, but he's always looking for a brighter tommorow. I've learned that Roberto is really passionate about athletics, and won't ever stop doing what he loves. I've learned that there is more than meets the eye in Jubilee, and lastly, I've learned that Amara is not your typical princess, and that she believes strongly in always following your dreams. Most importantly, I've learned that even though you guys are just a bunch of sugar-high kids, you are each very unique and I wouldn't ever want to teach anyone else."

The New Recruits all smiled, making Lesson Number Three's beginning a true Kodak moment, only to be ruined by Scott, who announced, "I told you that Oprah was a good idea." Let the laughter commence.


End file.
